What sucks about people is how fragile they really are. We can get hurt and stick around because of love and after long enough that abuse is installed into us as normal. We start to seek it out and think that abuse is what we what. We get angry with ourselves, we hate ourselves and we ultimately get so lost from who we was that we give up because we feel like theres no going back. The thing is the same thing that broke us can heal us if we are brave enough to stop going after what we want and accepting what we deserve. Sometimes this abuse started as a kid when we where young and ultimately when that’s the case our first love is going to hurt us dearly. Sometimes this abuse can happen with our first relationship and if that’s the case you may never want to have a relationship again unable to trust yourself. I promise though if you dont give up, if you learn to trust yourself, if you keep growing and never give up you can find yourself again. Dont give up, dont stop growing, and dont accept all these easy life pleasures. Pleasure is what stops you from growing and pain is a result of getting lost in pleasure. You got this no matter how hard it is.

I went to grab a bite to eat today and I was talking to my grandmother she’s started watching stranger things and she is enjoying it. Then she said “I really need to get up and wash some dishes or do something” immediately I asked her why? You have to understand she has had it rough for awhile. My cousin that lived with her even though I love him became a very angry person. He was always taking it out on her and his mom. Then when she left to take care of her dieing sister for 2ish years my cousin decided he didnt want to deal with her mess and took allot of her stuff and just threw it in the basement or another room. Pretty shitty right! Whatever though shes home but shes not all that happy. She values so much of her stuff and allot of it holds memories for her. Not only that she was so stressed at her sisters watching her die she was losing blood. Shes feeling better now but the state of the house keeps her down. This is why I purposed the question why? Immediately I said “I think you should enjoy your show and relax your old you get to do that now. It’s not easy when everything is piled up and feels overwhelming. You can get to it when you want to but dont let it ruin you enjoying yourself. That’s how people get depressed, constantly trying to live up to an invisible standard then overwhelming themselves with work over and over again untill they lose hope. You should just watch your show tonight and work on things when you feel up to it.” She said you know your right I think I will. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a man say that. So just like the name of this title says dont be so hard on yourself take things slowly. If we dont start enjoying all the little good things in life, then its gonna be hard to see the big ones.