So here’s the thing I know emotion is real and its the energy constantly flowing through us all. It’s something we all share even if the emotion is flowing at different frequencies its still energy. Feelings on the other hand are not real, there perceptions of the emotional changes in our body, which means there is know way to treat them from outside the body. This is why one must heal themselves, yet to start the healing one has to want help, wanting help means you have went through the process of questioning yourself which means your open to suggestions. Which is why someone who doesn’t want help never seems to change. My question though is if feelings arnt real if there a perception made up of our own processing of information at the time of the emotional spike. Then why is it that people seem to act like there is a certain way to express oneself, isnt every action we take in this world not an expression of feeling we have formed? If thats the case then helping people understand that feelings are everything and nothing should help them understand children as well. Children make up stories, they copy what they see, they mimic what they feel, then then try to use these things to express and assert themselves as a conscious and aware being. What is it about a childs dreams and pretending and exploring things they see that makes adults so terrified. Are people really that scared of being seen as a bad parent, of being cast out by the crowd that the destroy there childs sense of self and foundation of self love. They essentially cast out there own childs person and force them to conform to what they find appropriate. Then when the child acts out needing attention to feel love and self worth they reject or neglect the child. all because they see there own lack of self love and self worth reflected back to them. They cause the child to throw away there sense of self and to become a copy of the parent only and never learn what it means to love themselves because all they do is harbor resentment for the parent, deep down the child knows something is wrong. Yet to reject the parent is to reject who they have become. With no foundation of self love though this is a nearly impossible feet for most. They need to hold on to and believe there parents raised them well in order to function and be a person. There lives become driven to validate themselves through the parents praise or rejection. they start life off living in anxeity and never learn what its like to not have anxiety. Without the anxiety or love theres nothing there but emptiness. What I want people to understand is that emptiness is not to be feared, its scary because its new, that emptiness is the chance to be who you want to be, to go back to when you was a child and restore your dreams. See feelings may be fake but the heart and mind are not. The heart and mind are designed to survive and to move forward but you must trust them first. You must choose to let go of everything that makes you feel complete and full and dive into the darkness. Only then will you see that just behind that veil the little sweet innocent kid who got lost so long ago is there waiting, shielded from all the pain and torture you have endured up until this point. Now though its your job to protect him/her and to build a path out of the darkness for him. To show him/her how strong they are and to love them and allow them to dream and play once again. are you up to the task? I promise you its not an easy one it will never be done by blaming others but it can be done by finding those that are kind and letting them help, never spew what can hurt you to early but also dont hold on to it untill its to late. the kind hearted will always find you when your ready, make sure you able to see them and not fear them.

Ok so first this is just an opinion of mine based off of all the people I’ve spoken to and helped over the years. Heres the thing woman are fundamentally different then men. our animal brains serve different purposes. The goal of a womans brain was to find a strong and stable protector that would defend the home giving the baby and herself time to get to safety. Children as far back as time goes are always more important then the parents themselves. Children when born from two people mating to advance the species have different and more highly evolved genes. these genes are what allows the specicies to continuelly grow and evolve. Here’s the thing though, because woman are wired to find a protector that is stable enough to stay it means sex effects them diferently. When a man is promiscuous it doesn’t go against his biological code, woman on the other had are not biologically designed for promiscuity, will they do it, yes but how many woman out there are able to orgasm from normal sex with strangers? Not many so i hear. Guess what sex realeases in the body, oxytocin which naturally fights stress levels. Why because science has proven stress even days after becoming pregnant can and does effect a baby. i think this is a natural defense to help the species. Now guess what anxiety comes from? lots of dopimine thats unearned. so when you get yourself off( masturbate ) your dopimine shoots up and you dont recieve adequate serotonin to keep anxiety in check because guess what I bet you want to orgasm in sex and not by yourself. Once the oxytocin wears off all that dopamine is still there causing the anxiety. With this understanding you can see how woman easily fall into anxeity. Anxiety after so long causes numbness and an inability to trust ones self which cripples intuition…….but anxiety will also make you seek out what you think is helping you, you will want it and think its helping when really like I’ve said in some other posts you need to say no to the anxiety and the lies you tell yourself and go back to the version of you before the hormones. The little girl who loved to play and dream of being loved. As a kid we are ourselves, before the hormones and the instincts to survive which once again we dont need. We are a more true form of ourselves who ever that is. Even if you was following the rules of your parents inside you had dreams and wants and desires that had nothing to do with sex and material matters, they were pure and honest and part of who you was. Don’t let this world and its pleasures distract you from all the great things that make us human. You have a brain for a reason if what your doing isnt working stop blaming it on all the things you think it is and take a good and fair look at your life and see what’s the one thing that has really stayed consistent. Also what’s the one thing that always seems to get worse and not go away? You have to be able to face yourself and stop letting the world decide things for you. A man can’t do what a woman does, and a woman can’t do everything a man can do. Just like all these young kids fighting to have everyone treated the same, there to distracted and spread out, theres one simple cause, the concept. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Stop trying to be one another……..do you not tell you kids and friends to not compare themselves or try to be like other people? Why cant people see it’s the same concept with gender. Start being who you are and doing what your good at……..oh and I dont mean what damn body part you have, penis or vagina doesn’t mean shit…….guess what if we can be born with extra or no limbs dont ya think the body might screw up and shoot some estrogen in the brain causing a male to have a females brain? It’s not that far fetched really.

So I see allot of people get stuck on dont take things personal that the other person is fighting thier own battles. While I partially believe in this the concept behind it is wrong to me. When people whole heartedly believe in this they will ignore themselves. Yes when someone gets angry at you gets emotional allot of times it’s not personal it is the other persons problem. Though the fact remains that something you did triggered something in another person. Just because we shouldnt takes things personal also doesnt mean we should just do what we want. That’s the rule I think we should take from even wild animals, you should pay attention to the other person. How you act effects people and it is your job to control how you act. You shouldnt act however you want, you should act in a way that benefits both people that’s intelligence imo. Sometimes your actions warent a reaction even if it’s an over reaction on there part. You should take things personal because it makes you question what you believe in and questioning yourself is the best way to grow. If you never question yourself then your only lieing to yourself. If you do this for to long based off of excuses like there in the wrong, or they was the ones that hurt you, or they have there own battles to deal with, then your only ignoring yourself and your actions and it’s the easiest way to fall into a spiral of anxiety. Anxiety in its essence makes you become someone your not. You end up doing things that go against your internal beliefs, beliefs you can no longer see because of the anxiety. You have to go back and remember who you was and you have to choose to go back to those beliefs and it will be so hard. Its possiablly the hardest thing in the world to do because at some point we let someone make us lose sight of those beliefs and the brain can no longer trust itself to make the right decision. Anxiety sets in as a way protect us from our choices. You forget your beliefs so you can hide from the pain. The pain though is still thier and it will always come out. It will come out as pleasure, As attractions, as anger. See just because you shouldnt take things personal doesnt mean they arnt personal. We are all dealing with our own demons but those demons are one and the same. Thier demons are your demons and you look to love those demons to validate those demons but you have to choose to deal with those demons and to turn away from those demons if your truly want the brain to trust yourself and to love yourself again.

What sucks about people is how fragile they really are. We can get hurt and stick around because of love and after long enough that abuse is installed into us as normal. We start to seek it out and think that abuse is what we what. We get angry with ourselves, we hate ourselves and we ultimately get so lost from who we was that we give up because we feel like theres no going back. The thing is the same thing that broke us can heal us if we are brave enough to stop going after what we want and accepting what we deserve. Sometimes this abuse started as a kid when we where young and ultimately when that’s the case our first love is going to hurt us dearly. Sometimes this abuse can happen with our first relationship and if that’s the case you may never want to have a relationship again unable to trust yourself. I promise though if you dont give up, if you learn to trust yourself, if you keep growing and never give up you can find yourself again. Dont give up, dont stop growing, and dont accept all these easy life pleasures. Pleasure is what stops you from growing and pain is a result of getting lost in pleasure. You got this no matter how hard it is.

3 is an important number I believe, to me it has allot of meaning. By using three you can understand allot about the world and yourself. Such as who you are, I believe theres three parts to everyone’s self. Theres the you you think you are and the you that others think you are but there is also who you actually are. Most get caught up in one of the first two but the third one is the most important and significant one because it’s the one that’s always there watching unseen and unaffected. Sometimes I think we dont realize this and it can cause us to go crazy trying to find ourselves but all it really takes is realizing this concept and you can start to understand your self.

3 plays a huge part In religion as well think about it heaven, hell, and then the middle ground earth. It helps reason the exsistance of all things to me. Up and down then the middle ground were things are balanced. You cant have one thing without having its oppisite but all things need a basis for exsistance. The middle or balanced part of two opposing forces is always unseen you just have to have faith that it’s there. In a relationship theres you and the other person but if there was nothing holding you together it wouldnt be a relationship. When you throw a ball you have faith in unseen forces to cause it to fall or slow down. This faith or trust is thier because the forces are always the same and consistent. I think all things need to be viewed in this way how it effects you, how it effects things outside of you, and how might it effect things you have yet to see. There needs to be balance in you, in the universe, in the world, everywhere. Find that balance! 🙂

I’m sorry but kinks are nothing more the internal problems from childhood coming out in a way that causes pleasure as way to self validate the way we was treated as a kid. Kinks are not healthy for most people to continually partake in. Your literally causing the same type of trauma to your inner child that was forced upon you in some way form or fashion and being rewarded for it. Why is it that you think most people with these kinks suffer from such high anxiety? It’s not rocket science if you use a little self control and stop trying to fuck all the time. Were literally becoming a species of unintelligent beings souly driven by pleasure and fear. I’m not saying that two loving individuals cant spice things up and try out some role play and fantasy or role reversals. Please do. What I’m saying is this constant meet up with people you dont know and letting strangers have access to the most vulnerable parts of your being as some attempt to balance out the feelings from childhood is twisted and wrong. Listen up if you find someone you love and yall truly love each other exploring kinks and different ways to do things is going to be one of the things that makes the relationship strong and exciting. Dont waste all the mystery and excitement on random ass people who dont care about you just so you can find a lover and be boring. When it’s real love your partner will want to explore things with you. Love should have no fears or secrets and if your inna relationship and you feel as if you cant say what you want or if you partner isnt ok doing the things you wanna do then something needs to change. People who become secure with each other should be willing to put ther ego aside and explore all life has to offer with each other not just sexually but mentally as well. That’s what growing is.

I went to grab a bite to eat today and I was talking to my grandmother she’s started watching stranger things and she is enjoying it. Then she said “I really need to get up and wash some dishes or do something” immediately I asked her why? You have to understand she has had it rough for awhile. My cousin that lived with her even though I love him became a very angry person. He was always taking it out on her and his mom. Then when she left to take care of her dieing sister for 2ish years my cousin decided he didnt want to deal with her mess and took allot of her stuff and just threw it in the basement or another room. Pretty shitty right! Whatever though shes home but shes not all that happy. She values so much of her stuff and allot of it holds memories for her. Not only that she was so stressed at her sisters watching her die she was losing blood. Shes feeling better now but the state of the house keeps her down. This is why I purposed the question why? Immediately I said “I think you should enjoy your show and relax your old you get to do that now. It’s not easy when everything is piled up and feels overwhelming. You can get to it when you want to but dont let it ruin you enjoying yourself. That’s how people get depressed, constantly trying to live up to an invisible standard then overwhelming themselves with work over and over again untill they lose hope. You should just watch your show tonight and work on things when you feel up to it.” She said you know your right I think I will. That’s the first time I’ve ever heard a man say that. So just like the name of this title says dont be so hard on yourself take things slowly. If we dont start enjoying all the little good things in life, then its gonna be hard to see the big ones.