So I find it intresting that autistic people naturally recognize other autistic people. Something about the brain sees itself in another person and guards are easily lowered and anxiety calmed. What if there’s something to take from this.
What if things like racial biased and racism stem from this. They do studies that show white people are more compassionate to other white people more so then blacks or people of other skin tones. Maybe though its not about racism at all and its more about the brain recognizing someone like themselves and are more willing to help.
I’m not saying that racism isn’t a thing. It most definitely breeds allot of hate and hate causes fear and separation. I’m just saying that maybe its not what we think it is. That maybe we are fighting the wrong kind of battles.
Honestly I believe this applies to allot of things. Even the whole gay movement. Not that being gay isn’t a thing it surly is. Biological abnormalities happen. I’m just saying that maybe once you have been hurt or traumatized maybe the only people you can feel love from are people like you because the walls we make become so high.
If history has shown us anything the more we fight for a better world the more we repeat cycles and cause more destruction. Maybe the key to it all is to stop trying to make the world a better place and just be better people. Then let the world naturally alter itself through the generations of our kids.
I like to listen and compare stories I hear and things people say to try and understand how people work. What I find fascinating is how we use sex to act out tramua and be rewarded for it. All i can really think is that because sex is about survival evolutionaryspeaking lol, its the brains attempt to fulfill some type of invisible pain we feel.
For me it was wanting to feel powerless when my ex left me I was scared of woman. I gave up my power. I felt weak so I looked to feel powerless with sex, for me it was only a few times I tried things with another male, it never made me feel powerless or any less masculine. I try to learn quickly from my anxiety filled impulses. I’ve seen others though that weren’t noticed being abused so now they get turned on by being loud and letting anyone thats around know there having sex. To people who feel humiliation for something in there past and like to be humiliated during sex. Then theres things like girls whos dad doesn’t stick around looking for a daddy in a relationship. Its intresting how things effect what your attracted to. Whats even weirder is that all of these things are not your fault its a invisible type of pain persay thats not attached to a real emotion I dont think or its a real emotion with no proper feeling for it so maybe like having a real arm getting cut off then that pain that sticks around because the brain says there is a arm there lol. So imo the brain attempts to create a feeling or a reason to feel this pain. Which is why we are attracted to certain things. Because without an actual feeling to base it on how can we know that its not how we want to be treated hell how can you even make a choice until you experience it again with a mature brain.
What I find crazy about all this is that people have normalized all these things into kinks and built communities around them. Like they have made it ok to enable trauma. Not that I’m judging people individually just the concept of it. See i agree that it should be accepted but the problem is nothing will ever feel that void. You will always need something more, something extreme, like anything we get used to it, then its not as pleasurable. The only thing left once the pleasure fades is anxeity and emptiness.
Which I guess though this makes sense. If loving my ex gave her the ability to alter the way I love. Then sex which creates a feeling of love and connection(oxytocin) let’s people validate the tramua from the past by finding people to do something to them that validates some feeling they have inside there head. Think of couple who argue allot that like the make up angry sex……essentially validating all the anger they feel.
Like i said its all intresting. Another reason also to stop treating people how they think they want to be treated and treat them with love.
I think one of the biggest things to over come is family trauma. Make no mistake every family passes on some kind of trauma to there kid in varying degrees. When its on the lower end of the scale its easy to heal and forgive your parents/family and usually goes unnoticed. Then there’s the higher end of the scale thats the one thats hard to over come. This is all my opinion from my perspective of course.
See when there is allot of hate or shame or just abuse in general passed down to the children it becomes a part of them. They have been growing up observing this tramua there whole life so its given there brain will wire its self to repeat this Trauma. Wether its in the people they love or how they treat people it will manifest itself in some way in the child. More often then not the child will hate that side of them or be ashamed of that side of them. They will search out partners that validate these feelings they have deep within them. It will seem like love is the enemy but its not.
The real enemy is what we see as love, how we view the world through our broken eyes. You get comfortable in this illusion and it keeps repeating itself over and over. Eventually unless you break this cycle you decide to give up on love altogether or just settle and keep living life like its normal. None of this ever leads to happiness though.
Its important to come to terms with that side of yourself. That way you can understand that just as you cant help the way you was raised neither could your parents. We don’t get to decide those things. Yet if you can do this if you can forgive yourself and forgive your family. If you can change yourself you can break this cycle. During this journey you should come to learn that you cant change anyone they have to want to change. They have to be willing. If they are not then just as you want people to accept you, you should accept them.
You cant change the past but you can create a better future. By healing yourself and learning what you need help with you can learn to have authority over yourself. You can learn what it truly means to be independent. Being independent isn’t about supporting yourself, its about knowing yourself on such a deep level you know what and where you need help and being able to ask for this help. Its not an easy journey its lonely but you have to understand you are good enough, your are worth it, but you can’t do it alone and anyone who says they have done it alone is a liar. Those people don’t pay attention to the countless individuals that were there for them and this is strictly there ego talking. We all need each other equally.