So here’s the thing I know emotion is real and its the energy constantly flowing through us all. It’s something we all share even if the emotion is flowing at different frequencies its still energy. Feelings on the other hand are not real, there perceptions of the emotional changes in our body, which means there is know way to treat them from outside the body. This is why one must heal themselves, yet to start the healing one has to want help, wanting help means you have went through the process of questioning yourself which means your open to suggestions. Which is why someone who doesn’t want help never seems to change. My question though is if feelings arnt real if there a perception made up of our own processing of information at the time of the emotional spike. Then why is it that people seem to act like there is a certain way to express oneself, isnt every action we take in this world not an expression of feeling we have formed? If thats the case then helping people understand that feelings are everything and nothing should help them understand children as well. Children make up stories, they copy what they see, they mimic what they feel, then then try to use these things to express and assert themselves as a conscious and aware being. What is it about a childs dreams and pretending and exploring things they see that makes adults so terrified. Are people really that scared of being seen as a bad parent, of being cast out by the crowd that the destroy there childs sense of self and foundation of self love. They essentially cast out there own childs person and force them to conform to what they find appropriate. Then when the child acts out needing attention to feel love and self worth they reject or neglect the child. all because they see there own lack of self love and self worth reflected back to them. They cause the child to throw away there sense of self and to become a copy of the parent only and never learn what it means to love themselves because all they do is harbor resentment for the parent, deep down the child knows something is wrong. Yet to reject the parent is to reject who they have become. With no foundation of self love though this is a nearly impossible feet for most. They need to hold on to and believe there parents raised them well in order to function and be a person. There lives become driven to validate themselves through the parents praise or rejection. they start life off living in anxeity and never learn what its like to not have anxiety. Without the anxiety or love theres nothing there but emptiness. What I want people to understand is that emptiness is not to be feared, its scary because its new, that emptiness is the chance to be who you want to be, to go back to when you was a child and restore your dreams. See feelings may be fake but the heart and mind are not. The heart and mind are designed to survive and to move forward but you must trust them first. You must choose to let go of everything that makes you feel complete and full and dive into the darkness. Only then will you see that just behind that veil the little sweet innocent kid who got lost so long ago is there waiting, shielded from all the pain and torture you have endured up until this point. Now though its your job to protect him/her and to build a path out of the darkness for him. To show him/her how strong they are and to love them and allow them to dream and play once again. are you up to the task? I promise you its not an easy one it will never be done by blaming others but it can be done by finding those that are kind and letting them help, never spew what can hurt you to early but also dont hold on to it untill its to late. the kind hearted will always find you when your ready, make sure you able to see them and not fear them.

When you grow up in a family who didnt care for you. Who used you as a scapegoat. Who never payed attention and where you wasnt allowed to be better then them or know better then they did. You dont learn a single thing other then do what’s best for them. When you feelings are dismissed and your wants decided for you you dont even learn your a person. Growing up basically being a robot living within parameters set by everyone else there is no individuality. There is no personality. My personality was whatever you wanted it to be. And I was defined by how well I was who you wanted. That goes over great in the workplace when people want a perfect worker. Not so much when people want a worker and try to be friends. That person is great at fitting in and being what people think they want or need and reflecting back thier desires. That is until they realize they dont know what they want, or they get mad they got what they wanted, or they get what they wanted but feel it’s to good to be true and dont appreciate it. In the real world giving people what they want only works for narcissistic individuals and as a stepping stone for others. For everything else in life it gets you rejected or tormented. When you dont know any different though and this is all you was ever made to believe made you of value getting rejected and tormented only removes your purpose for being alive. I redefined my purpose and said ok well at least people get mad at me and then go on to be happy. Or they use me and get the things they want. I learned to be grateful that I could benefit people in some small way. That was how I defined my life and my worth. That I wasnt worthy to have anything in life I was only here as a doormat for others happiness. I learned to be happy with those circumstances and accepted them. Now I’m finding out I am a person though I’m still unsure of what that means exactly or how to be an individual or unique but I’m trying. Course now that I know everyone acts like I’m to normal or plain. So I still feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I wish I didnt have to worry about money and normal life and that I could just go explore the world and learn what being human ment. Humans fascinate me.