What is it that drives our egos? honestly it can be allot of things but i think a big part of it is our instinct to survive. trapped in the mind looking for experiance, always misunderstood searching for understanding. Survivel now doesnt mean staying alive its turned into what we need to feel alive. feelings have never been so complex and hard to identify though. theres more understanding and so many more people with emotions interacting with each other that what we feel has started to never make sense. Really though there not that complex because there just percieved emotion and emotion is more simple and real. I cant prove anything, this is just a perception of my mind compared to others. One thing that i still have yet to enjoy in life is sex, Its been used to hurt me and I have finally accepted that and letting go of it making me feel worthless. I have many other great things about me that are priceless. Even though the drive to exsist has changed I think one thing that directly effects it still is the instinct to survive. Sex isnt wrong and im not one to judge. but consider this for a moment. Sex is a means for survival not a means to keep us happy. Women use men by having beauty, something that takes great self discipline that needs to be appreciated even If it was done unhealthily it took allot of work and that work shouldnt be invalidated to work so hard and hurt ones own self feeling as if its the only way to do the things they want in this world takes an amazing amount of effort. That self discipline though is a curse. You cant control your body and mind and still be yourself. Blocking out things and building up walls you cage who you are, so you can have all the things you think make you happy. Your caught in the allure of this world, the illusion. In this role you know men will give anything for sex and sex for you doesn’t matter because you want to have experiences and feel. You feed the mens ego and make them believe thier wanted and worthy of what they have gained. In your head though you know its been you all along. Teasing and using all the tactics you have learned to play the fawn. The problem i see with this though is that your feeding an ego for material things and at some pont you was in control until something happens and you realize you can’t stop that you only had the illusion of control. All those men you fed move on and hurt because they was giving you things thinking as long as I feed her she will stay using that sense of power and confidence you give them to gain more things in life. They never thought for second you would never care for them, that what you wanted was something men usually seem to dismiss. In this way the ego is fueling both sides. Men needing to feel that thier gains in life have meaning, and the woman experiance all the things that make them feel.

Sure all is good for awhile and life seems great. The thing is though woman have begin to believe sex is nothing and that they have the control. Men on the other hand think there gains give them power and respect and they can have whatever they want because so. Woman in control of themselves gave in to submission to get what they want. Men in power flaunt what they have as a show of dominance to have any woman they want. This is only what we tell ourselves though. Every girl that leaves only prooves to the man his gains don’t mean anything but his life was built around his ego hes wants to feel powerful and respected not feeling good enough the ego drives to obtain more. Every man that never sees her real needs only makes her feel forgotten and trapped and the ego drives her to keep experiencing more. Behind it though all she wants is to feel something real. Both man and woman worthless and empty they have forgotten who they was before puberty hit. They have rejected that kid who they used to be for the person they want to be. The thing is, who they are was that kid thats forgotten.

That kid so pure innocent and full of dreams almost like a fairytale now. In a world were all we want to do is achieve, we have lost all belief in our dreams. So we project that in the world and use it as a reason to keep moving forward. The car of our dreams, the house of our dreams, the life of our dreams. Our dreams though were nothing more then that. They was imaginary things that filled us with wonder, they gave us hope an faith in all the things we can’t see. As adults though we have made our dreams more real and literal. They no longer fill us with wonder. So why are we giving up our bodies, our time, and all the things that make us special? It all started with hormones and sex. We allowed sex to become a tool to get what we wanted in some way. Wether it was satisfaction or feeling something we then focused on what we think the opposite sex wants and how we can get what we need from them. Our ego slowly changes and we have come defined buy these things. In order to maintain our percieved sense of self the ego does what it can to protect is. So what happens when presented with evidence our beliefs are wrong? Theres plenty of defensive mechanisms the brain will use, denial, rationalization, anger, fear, intimidation. There all tools to protect the beliefs we have built ourselves on. I think these effects are generally masculine and femenin in nature. Now i dont mean male or female im talking of there energy they embrace. masculine energy usually external and competive control with anger and fear, they understand something is wrong but never see themselves. Femininity generally internal with good control of themselves they block out things that dont serve them there unable to see the world for what it is. Wether your male or female I think the brain has the ability to encompass them both generally though females have better intuition and a good executive area I do believe its called (I dont feel like checking right now lol) men on the other hand more instinctal with a good spatial ability.

So how do we fix it? Im not sure yet and thats what i hope to find one day. I see allot of the concepts behind the patterns but i dont always apply them correctly. I know that we need to stop blaming, that includes ourselves and others. What happened happened and its ok now. even though you may have hurt people, guess what they needed that hurt to break there own illusions. If you have made it this far i more then im willing to bet theres been a castrophic event or events in your life that has effected you in a way that has destroyed everything you thought you knew. As i said forgive yourself, your actions up until now have helped others in there journey its ok to trust yourself because as humans we are nothing more then the physical manafestion of the struggle between opposing forces and now that you know this you can begin to see who you are. Forgive others because all the anger and mean things they did slowly caused the balances to tip inside of you even if you couldnt tell, its all happened to help you. Now its a hard thing to do i know im not saying its easy this will be the most terrifying thing ever. Your event or events that have broken you will cause your ego to shatter and your gonna wanna try and pick up the pieces but dont. Those pieces where of a person that wasnt you. You have a chance to stop and see who you was. Who you was never needed anything to be happy and free. Who you was could always find the wonder and amazment of all the smallest of things. Who you was could see the magic that keeps this world alive. That’s when you realize home isnt inside a person or a place, its not inside of you either. Home is nothing more then a belief built on a dream that was all given to us. Even if it was full of abuse or you was given all that you wanted none of that matters. What matters is that somewhere deep down behind all that makes us human. The soul had a dream that was passed on to you and now you can keep that dream going with the faith that no matter what happens to us the dream will stay alive. Treat your soul with love and let love in because until the soul is healed we can never be our true selves, we are part of something bigger reguardless of what you call it, each and everyone of us has a purpose. I believe that purpose is each other. Were all healing the past trying to become whole. Sometimes you mess up and take the wrong path but i promise that path forced upon you or by choice has helped you understand something your going to need. So once you reach that point where you dont know who you are anymore. First forgive all the things you have done. Then forget all the things you have achieved. None of it matters right now because that wasnt who you are. Look at all things unbiased and objectively. Does it align with who you was or was it something you did to get what you thought you wanted. Think back and remember yourself as a child then go through all the memories you have and rebuild yourself. Let who you are be loved. Learn to love people for who they are. Even if they seem to be the bad ones you can love them and treat them with kindness if they enter you life. If it doesnt align with who you are though dont feed it. Put your ego aside and show them your unaffected. A hungry animal wont stay if theres no food. Find things that make you smile and happy. Stop chasing pleasure and pain. Learn to be accepting of your decisions so that you can judge them impartially. Who you are is ok and always will be because who you are never changes. It’s our actions to obtain what we think we want that hides us. Realize that nothing you do matters, but everything you do is the most important decision you will ever make.

Ok so first this is just an opinion of mine based off of all the people I’ve spoken to and helped over the years. Heres the thing woman are fundamentally different then men. our animal brains serve different purposes. The goal of a womans brain was to find a strong and stable protector that would defend the home giving the baby and herself time to get to safety. Children as far back as time goes are always more important then the parents themselves. Children when born from two people mating to advance the species have different and more highly evolved genes. these genes are what allows the specicies to continuelly grow and evolve. Here’s the thing though, because woman are wired to find a protector that is stable enough to stay it means sex effects them diferently. When a man is promiscuous it doesn’t go against his biological code, woman on the other had are not biologically designed for promiscuity, will they do it, yes but how many woman out there are able to orgasm from normal sex with strangers? Not many so i hear. Guess what sex realeases in the body, oxytocin which naturally fights stress levels. Why because science has proven stress even days after becoming pregnant can and does effect a baby. i think this is a natural defense to help the species. Now guess what anxiety comes from? lots of dopimine thats unearned. so when you get yourself off( masturbate ) your dopimine shoots up and you dont recieve adequate serotonin to keep anxiety in check because guess what I bet you want to orgasm in sex and not by yourself. Once the oxytocin wears off all that dopamine is still there causing the anxiety. With this understanding you can see how woman easily fall into anxeity. Anxiety after so long causes numbness and an inability to trust ones self which cripples intuition…….but anxiety will also make you seek out what you think is helping you, you will want it and think its helping when really like I’ve said in some other posts you need to say no to the anxiety and the lies you tell yourself and go back to the version of you before the hormones. The little girl who loved to play and dream of being loved. As a kid we are ourselves, before the hormones and the instincts to survive which once again we dont need. We are a more true form of ourselves who ever that is. Even if you was following the rules of your parents inside you had dreams and wants and desires that had nothing to do with sex and material matters, they were pure and honest and part of who you was. Don’t let this world and its pleasures distract you from all the great things that make us human. You have a brain for a reason if what your doing isnt working stop blaming it on all the things you think it is and take a good and fair look at your life and see what’s the one thing that has really stayed consistent. Also what’s the one thing that always seems to get worse and not go away? You have to be able to face yourself and stop letting the world decide things for you. A man can’t do what a woman does, and a woman can’t do everything a man can do. Just like all these young kids fighting to have everyone treated the same, there to distracted and spread out, theres one simple cause, the concept. A man is a man and a woman is a woman. Stop trying to be one another……..do you not tell you kids and friends to not compare themselves or try to be like other people? Why cant people see it’s the same concept with gender. Start being who you are and doing what your good at……..oh and I dont mean what damn body part you have, penis or vagina doesn’t mean shit…….guess what if we can be born with extra or no limbs dont ya think the body might screw up and shoot some estrogen in the brain causing a male to have a females brain? It’s not that far fetched really.

It’s simple, because I didnt see myself as a person I looked at everything with and unbiased eye. I saw the world for what it was down to the very core. Of course I could see all the pain and agony so many was in but what was the cause of that agony. Why were so many people hurting when they didnt need to hurt. A couple things come to mind of course, one is labels. Labels are how everyone defines each other but labels are not who we are. Do I have my problems yes and I’m sure some can guess my problems but I dont want to talk about those I only want to talk of how I felt. For every person that was labeled it would more clearly define all others under that label. Majority of people with this have this common trait therefore this trait is needed to diagnose said label. That is fundamentally wrong!

We are a evolving species that is constantly in flux. Our conscious mind literally alters our role based upon how we see ourselves. Which inevitably is what is causing the agony so many experience. The labels only become more defined and set in stone while we as a species are changing. Woman in a attempt to gain power are taking over the roles of men. Woman are not being woman. Men on the other hand are taking over more roles as woman, men are becoming more feminine. Which is fine and dandy except for the labels havent changed, how can a man be feminine and keep is masculinity, and vice versa. Therefore it’s being expressed sexually which is so so so wrong. Sex creates a bond that literally gives access to inner parts of the mind to the other person. So when you go and experiment and the other person doesnt care for you and treats you badly there changing parts of you that you are not even aware of which is why the need to fulfill that void only grows. You end up wanting more and doing different things as you get lost in anxiety. The anxiety litterly drives you but it’s your choice to make the hard decision and so no to the anxiety. You have to choose to go back to being who you are and who your ment to be. The crazy thing about this is I think every person has both masculine and feminine inside them. That sometimes trauma cuts off one or the other for whatever reason and then labels applied to us when were young keeps us from exploring and embracing both sides of ourselves. We couldnt become the other if it wasnt already innately inside of us. You can be emotional and strong, you can appear strong but be weak. This very power dynamic is the essence of a relationship imo. A back and forth exchange of powers that helps the other person grow in areas they are weak confidently and teaches us to be weak in areas we are strong. I think this exchange of powers between you and the one you love is what causes us to be strong well rounded individuals that can truly show our children what it means to raise each other up and to love ourselves as humans.

Second point is that wether we like it our bot a woman is a woman and a man is a man. Our animal brains are wired differently to need different things for survival. Woman are just going around showing they can do everything a man can do while not realizing its throwing them into a disarray of anxiety and numbness. They in turn keep trying to feel and many have come to terms with pain as a sense of feeling. Think about it in an attempt to show your power your asking to be punished. Really think about that? In what world is pain ever something to be desired. Men on the other hand are learning, oh well degrading and using woman is what they want, it’s what there asking for. Due to not knowing any better and succumbing to society pressures to be a man they are doing what they think makes them a man. Just as woman acting like men is causing them to go numb and want pain, men not being men and protecting woman from themselves like they should is causing men to lose there sense of manhood they become passive and less assertive as deep down they have become the predator woman need protection from. It causes a disconnect somewhere deep inside making men feel the need to prove something, causing them just as woman do, to fall into anxiety and get stuck trying to provide and lead and display there masculinity. Unfortunately true masculinity is learning to take the back seat, to empower the woman with understanding and the confidence that they always have support. Masculinity is not leading, masculinity is creating leaders. Feminine are the leaders they have superb intuition to make smart quick and effective choices. This requires trust and respect though. Woman need to respect that a man can understand things more effectively then they can, a man’s instincts can pick up and say something here isnt right we need to go. And men should trust woman enough to accept there answers and not need the woman to explain themselves. Intuition is a process that takes place behind the scenes. You may not understand how you came to that answer but you need to trust your correct. The man needs to respect the woman enough to understand on his own time and not to take power away from the leader/woman unless its abouslutly required. If he decides her answer is wrong he should observe and teach her why it’s wrong so that she feels empowered and not belittled so that she can make strong confident choices in the future and know that no matter what happens even if she makes a mistake her man will protect the family and do what’s needed even if that means raising her up higher.

Being a provider doesn’t mean monetary gains the way it used to be. We arnt surviving any more, men dont need to hunt and fight, there is no gathering or need for woman to make clothes or tan hides. In a modern society the woman are ment to run the businesses as they did the families. Men are now ment to be the teachers and trainers and researchers. The role of the provider has changed from food, clothes, and protection and now means knowledge, guidance, support. The womans roles of organizers, gatherers, decision makers now is more aligned with money, reputation, and stability. At least this is how I see things.